The moment you should have left….

The idea of a sixth sense that women possess is one that has been around for some time. It is the notion that women have a feeling, one that can’t be explained, towards a situation that ultimately brings awareness. Many believe this intuition to be many things. Some believe it is an instinct while others believe it is coincidence. Me personally I believe it is the Holy Spirit. None the less this intuition has helped to bring light to many situations over the years, particularly in relationships. Most times when people think of women’s intuition kicking in, it is tied to infidelity or lying. There is another time though this intuition is most important. I believe this same intuition resides in men as well. It is before the relationship even starts.

There is a moment when you first meet someone and you two are getting to know one another. Within the first couple of conversations until about the first month or two, there is a moment that intuition starts to kick in. You get through the fog of you hoping he or she is the one and you start to notice things you hadn’t before. Now for the first time in weeks, you are thinking rationally again. You start to think, maybe this isn’t what I thought. Maybe I should go ahead and walk away before this gets too deep. But after a few more dates and conversations with yourself about how you’ve been single for forever and you deserve him or her, you decide to shake off your leeriness and proceed with the relationship. Fast forward to weeks, months or years later and everything your intuition was sending red flags about starts to manifest. All of the characteristics you saw as potential problems start to negatively impact your relationship. Now you’re stuck with having to face the harsh reality that you have to end it, that’s if he or she hasn’t done it already. Fast forward again, this time you’re sitting at home crying with a tub of ice cream watching corny chick flicks thinking about where it went wrong. Well I’ll tell you. You messed up the moment you decided to shake off what your intuition was trying to tell you to run away from. Lord knows I’ve had plenty of moments when I look back and say, “Why didn’t I get out when I had the chance?” When my emotions were not as involved and to walk away wouldn’t hurt. When my time had not been too invested and I could focus the energy elsewhere. I’m sure though that just like myself many of you have done the same thing. Again, why do we ignore what we are blatantly feeling just to end up hurt later on?

We are hoping we are wrong: Deep down inside we are hoping that even though our intuition has never steered us wrong before, this time with this person it’s different. Who wants to be right when you know it’s just going to leave you back single? The problem with this is, you get hurt more when you try to hide how you feel from yourself. I can’t tell you how many times my intuition has kicked in and I deliberately ignored it. Not because I didn’t think what I was feeling was true, but because I didn’t want it to be true. There’s been times when my intuition kicked in, it was almost a moment of disappointment. It was that moment that I realized it wasn’t going to work and that it was the beginning of the end. I instead pushed through, praying that it was just me trying to find something wrong. This only led me to be more frustrated in the end for not listening to myself in the first place. We have to stop hoping we are wrong and start being happy we know how to find out what is right.

He or she is the ideal person: Let me guess, he or she is everything you’ve ever dreamed of right? They are everything you’ve ever asked for? Obviously not if your intuition is sounded off like a tornado warning. Don’t get me wrong, he or she may be a good person, may be close to perfect, just for someone else. Do NOT get caught up into the idea of this person that you become blind to who he or she actually is. Yeah they have a nice body, cute, makes good money, no kids, owns their own home and car and is willing to commit. Sounds great, but don’t forget they are rude, has anger issues, is arrogant, judges you and thinks you being ambitious is stupid. All I’m saying is, when you’re talking about how great this person is, what are you really referring to? Also note that I’m not telling you what characteristics you should and should not deal with. I can’t tell you that. Your intuition will do that for you.

We are tired of being lonely: It can be hard when you have been single for a long time. You can find yourself willing to ignore the spirit just so you could get into a relationship. Many of us get so caught up in the idea that being single is the worst thing on earth, we do anything to get out of it. We know that if we follow our intuition we are going to remain in the very rut we have been trying to get out of. I NOW believe that being single is a beautiful time if properly utilized. But when it is not, it becomes a dangerous space that promotes regrettable behavior. Just learn to be happy in the moment when all you have to worry about growing and becoming a better you. If you think getting into a relationship is going to somehow validate your existence, you don’t need to be in one anyway.

We have to learn how to stop being let down by what our spirit is telling us, and become grateful for the warning. Let me go on record and say that every intuition is not a bad one. Sometimes you just need to be made aware of something so that it can be addressed. The inclination is not always to walk away. That though is why you have to be in tuned and honest with yourself so you can decipher what your intuition is trying to tell you. Let your intuition help guide you. Don’t be afraid of what it is saying. Your heart will thank you later.

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