Naturally there has been nonstop buzz about the recent Jay-Z album 4:44. While some are ranting and raving over the lyrical genius of one the greatest rappers to ever do it, others are focusing on the love life of Hov and Beyoncé that seem to unravel on the tracks. Particularly, Jay’s infidelities being confirmed. Now I don’t mind people having some discussion over the matter, it’s what is being said that is bothering me the most. I’m seeing countless posts, statuses, and memes with the same message that “if Beyoncé got cheated on then there’s no hope for the rest of us.” This…. this I can’t rock with.
Let me just get to the point. Ladies, Beyoncé getting cheated on shouldn’t scare you because you’re not Beyoncé sis…. Now I know you probably think I’m being sarcastic. I promise I’m not. Let me explain. You are not a world known superstar. You are not one of the wealthiest women in entertainment. You don’t have millions of fans. In other words, you don’t have Beyoncé problems which might have led to the infidelity. Still not following? Ok, Beyoncé is by far the most sought-after celebrity on the planet. She is the only artist who could rival a fan base of MJ. She is celebrities’ favorite celebrity. She has reached a level of fame that few artists reach. Now imagine being the man married to her.
Last year I wrote a post on Beyoncé’s lemonade. Read it here. In it I discussed how hard it must be to be married to the most popular woman on the planet and how that must make Jay feel at times. Say what you want, but it does something to a man to be considered second rate to your spouse. For there to probably be times people bypass you just so they can get to your wife. And I’m sure some men are saying “whatever I’ll be second to Beyoncé any day.” Well you say that now until people start referring to her as “King Bey” and you start to feel emasculated as a man.
Then to make matters worse, this man is an artist too. He is known to some as the best rapper alive and yet the main thing people focus on is his connection to the Queen herself. It’s one thing for your wife to be more famous than you, it’s another when she’s more famous in the same industry. It’s even worse when your talent becomes overshadowed by her and her success.
With all that said, Jay might have sought validation in the women he cheated with. Jay might have searched for his fame before it was so wrapped up into his wife. He may have been seeking to feel important again. Now this is all psychological speculation. I will never know the whole truth as to why Sean Carter decided to step out on the world’s biggest superstar. I just wonder how much of it was to feel a void that his amazingly talented wife’s fame created.
I can hear y’all now “that’s not a reason to cheat on your wife.” Well let y’all tell it Lemonade was fake, right? Shade aside, you’re absolutely right. NOTHING justifies cheating on a spouse. But I can understand it. “That’s just male pride.” We must stop trying to make men feel bad for their genetic makeup. Men like to feel important. Period. So if you are constantly in a position that makes him feel less than, it may cause issues for him that could push him to seek outside validation. This is why it’s important to pump your man up as much as possible.
Now my heart goes out to Beyoncé Giselle Knowles Carter. This woman simply worked her butt off to obtain the fame many dream of but it could be the very thing that shakes up her marriage. The pain of infidelity is one no amount of money or fame can wash away. Beyoncé doesn’t make people worship the ground she walks on. Yet people doing such things could be alienating her husband and making him feel less than. Is there ever enough validation to make up for the fact your Beyoncé? I’m not sure but with two new healthy babies I hope they have found the solution and I wish their union the best.
So you see, none of us should be worried because none of us are anywhere near being on Beyoncé status. All hope is not lost. But I do hope everyone sees how elevation of a spouse can play a role in marriage. While you may not be superstars, you may find yourself in a position that pushes your man to the background. Be sure to validate him and remind him of how important he is. And fellas I know it’s hard but communicate if you feel like you’re being pushed aside. Give your partner a chance to validate you before you decide you’re just going to go and get it elsewhere. So, ladies, don’t worry. Just sip your lemonade with ease because for once, you should be happy you’re not Beyoncé.